When a Nation is Proud of its Potholes, We're all Stuck!

Prologue: Written on a bumpy late evening travel from Mumbai to Mangaon, this piece is out of frustration and concern about the status of highways. I wonder why my thought choose satire to be the style for this writing. Read, Comment & Share. 
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A recent survey by citizens of our country has confirmed that India ranked 1st in World Potholes Index. Apparently, tyre companies are lobbying with road contractors to build not so good roads. Also, there is a report which confirms potholes mafias operating during night with specially designed self-drive PotuPotu vehicles which suck out holes underneath as they run on  highways during heavy rains. 

Any politician or road contractor can avail the service by subscribing to the service of creating potholes.

Government is soon starting Potholes Cess in order to fund filling up the potholes. All NRI dentists specializing in tooth filling will be called to work on this. Government is also planning to create a new vigilance team called PIA - Potholes Investigation Agency to keep away potholes mafias, as announced in Fun Ki Baat. Additionally, there will be FDI in potholes repairing industry .

Researchers fear that this epidemic is concerning as in next few years, our largest pool of youths will be suffering from back pain, spinal cord issues and abdominal problems. Thus, an serious threat to Indian economy as all working class with need bed rest and there are only very few casual leaves. How would GDP grow when service and manufacturing sector aren't function well.
Is work from home a next big thing? What will happen to big IT campuses in NCR, Bangalore and Pune?

In recent intellectual dialogues regarding this apathy, there's a one thread of concern that runs across all discussion forums and intellectual debates, i.e. potholes can be also politicised. Experts envisage that next elections will be won by those who prioritize repairing potholes in their manifesto.

Indian Institue of Potholes Management has been envision by the government in order to do research and development in Potholes Repair Management. Considering it a interdisciplinary area, experts from Tyre companies and road contracting industry will be pitched in.

Speaking at a press conference, Rakesh Potholewala, first generation pothole repair entrepreneur told that “Pothole is a new boom, we are here at an early stage, thus we have already deposited our first round of funders' cheques, they should be realised in next few days and we will start our services”

Another famed minister, seeking anonymity told “It's a proud moment for all of us we see a new industry taking shape - creating and repairing potholes”

Epilogue:
Dear concerned agencies,
Please take the task of building roads of this nation a bit more seriously. While you fly high, the common man not only suffering but cursing you every time he experiences a bump on road. I don't want you to be a sinner, thus contribute to good karma!

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